Been thinking a lot about closure lately.  It’s come up in several conversations I’ve had and it’s something I don’t really understand.  Over the years I’ve had a hard time letting certain things and people go, and I think it’s because I feel I need a solid reason.  I’ve felt confused and uncertain about so many situations that I harbor those feelings and push them aside, rather than accept them and move on.  NOT GOOD!

I don’t think I did/do this on purpose, but I hate the feeling of not knowing what happened.  I need explanations.  I need to know exactly what went wrong or exactly why things unfold they way they do.  Whether it’s the end of a relationship or losing a loved one way too soon, I hate when things don’t make sense.

I’m starting to finally realize, and maybe even understand, that sometimes it’s just not gonna happen.  As much as I feel I want to, I can’t change things and I won’t always be afforded that luxury of closure from someone else.  I won’t always get that honest conversation I would appreciate, whether it’s for answers or even to explain myself.  I won’t always have the chance to say goodbye.

Sometimes people aren’t meant to stay in our lives, for whatever reason.  Sometimes jobs don’t work out.  Sometimes we don’t get what we want.  And sometimes what we thought we wanted was so not right for us.  And sometimes, we knew it all along but ignored those red flags!!   Funny thing, this life.

I still believe everything happens for us.  And there are ALWAYS blessings in disguise.  I have a sign in my kitchen that says “never regret anything that made you smile” and I love that.  I try to remember it and am really going to try and leave it at that.  Why think of how different things could have been?  I realize I’m exactly where I should be and things are happening just the way they’re supposed to.   No time for shoulda, woulda coulda’s!!

So…blowin’ a little kiss to those who have walked away, sayin’ a little prayer for those that didn’t have a choice, and loving everyone that I can.


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