Dating. I seriously get MAJOR anxiety just thinking about it. And online dating, even worse! I’ve never had any desire to do it and I honestly hate having the conversation when people suggest I try it. I take offense actually. I don’t know why, and most people don’t understand my feelings about it. I don’t even know if I can explain them well enough to make sense! I think the main reason that I am not into it is because I don’t feel like I want to actively search for someone. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely want to meet someone that I love to spend my time with and of course be in a relationship. I for sure want to have date nights, nights in, travel with my darling and enjoy lazy Saturday mornings. I want everything involved in a full blown, let’s do this, I love you and only you kind of commitment. I just don’t feel the need to rush anything and I’m not worried that it won’t happen organically.
I’m thinking about this today, because yesterday afternoon I was having lunch with a visiting girlfriend and it came up. We were talking about things like Tinder and dating and I was explaining all of my anxieties about it. When I flat out said I hate dating she was like, “Erin! How do you expect to meet anyone and do the things you want to do then?!” We laughed, because she knows how I am. I clarified that I guess I like dating, it’s the first dates I don’t want to deal with. I don’t like expectation at all and I don’t like to feel pressure to go when I’m not totally into it. Is that weird? Am I crazy? I don’t think so.
Anyway, the hopeless romantic in me went on and explained that I just love when it happens unexpectedly. When you aren’t looking and you’re completely surprised. I want to all of a sudden both realize, “OMG, this is fun! I think I like you!” She laughed and said that just doesn’t happen and that you have to try. I said maybe, but that I’m gonna wait because I really think it does.
Cut to an hour later. Her friend stopped by and had a surprise for her…another one of their college buddies she hadn’t seen in a while who was also in town. Let’s call him Boston. I met him and they caught up for a bit and it was great. No biggie. Come to find out, Boston needed something to do while the other friend had an appointment to get to. He suggested riding with me to the airport to drop her off and then grabbing a drink. Why not? I mean, he wasn’t totally weird and I did feel oddly comfortable around him from the beginning. And, he was pretty damn cute. Ok, I’ll babysit.
At first, I was just being nice so he wouldn’t have to sit in a car or wander around alone for a few hours. We ended up spending the rest of the day together. And it was SO FUN! Like, I couldn’t believe how great the day turned out to be. Can I also add that I was in work out attire and had no make up on? Um, clearly not expecting to entertain or be in public at happy hour. I didn’t even care that much because everything just kind of happened and I love that kind of spontaneity. We went to BMW to pick up my car, we had wine, we played that cornhole/bags game (turns out I have serious bag tossing skills). His friends came to meet up with us and we even had a couple of ladies totally convinced we were married. Adorable.
Unfortunately, Boston lives in, um, Massachusetts. No matter what, that was the kind of out of the blue, non-date, day that would absolutely make me want a real one. I woke up this morning and immediately thought of my convo at lunch. See, it’s possible. I CAN be pleasantly surprised! Just an hour after I put it out there and said that’s what I knew could happen, a man literally walks through my front door?! That was some fast work, Uni. I always love your fun little surprises. xoxo
erinjallday 